Today is better gladly. Last night was so mentally draining. I have been putting in some self care in my daily routine and I think its starting to pay off which im happy about. Everyday is a new day I need to remember that. Today is better gladly. Last night was so mentally draining. I have been putting in some self care in my daily routine and I think its starting to pay off which im happy about. Everyday is a new day I need to remember that. I am trying so hard and I was doing so well until I was not. I want to be the best person I can be. I try so hard but intrusive thinking tend to get the better of me sometimes. I stay positive for other people because if i had to be here for myself and myself alone that would not be enough. You may not regret meeting me but I regret meeting me. I’m crying in my head crying thinking about it all. I feel so alone. I really wish I had more friends. I don’t know how people make friends as an adult . I just want someone to talk to. I feel kinda shaky and really tired. I made the pizza but it was not what I wanted it to be so ryan ate some for lunch and we will order dinner. I mean I did make it so what can I say. I have felt off all day and I’m not sure why. I dont know what’s worse knowing your loved but not feel it or feeling loved but your really not. My quiet oasis I have been doing better I think. I have made dinner 2 nights in a row, exercised for 10 and cleaned up around the house. I am eating foods that have good nutritional value. I am also drinking tea to help calm me. The medical weed does really help. This is my second month using it but 3rd month in a row smoking and I can see such great benifit. I feel like I am able to accomplish so much and I’m taking my time doing things which is the most important part. I am taking time to do things and calm my brain. I really think the 10 min a day makes a big difference. I want to feel beautiful. I never really feel beautiful but I know I am. Sometimes when I stare hard enough I think I see beauty but lately I have been seeing more beauty and the potential i have to evolve into a different skin and truly own my beauty. I will get to where I want to go I have high hopes this time. I may have set backs but its important to remember things happen and try again. You were are just the donnor yet your impact last forever. Drugs , addiction is what caused your choas leaving her alone to always wonder. She grew up scared, sad, and searching. Only to find 4 new people that I never wanted to meet. I wanted stability, security, and structure She and them were not part of that equation Did you find what you are looking for? I found what I was But mine was filled with sadness, sorrow and stupidity So when the time comes to say our first hello you say goodbye until another day When is that day because you have yet to say your “hello” Why was I never a thought ? Why are they taken care off? What did a baby do to you? Did you hear my first ever hello?
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